"Sometimes the Work for the Day Is Having a Good Cry"

A Soft Reset for the Overstimulated Brain

A wise woman said that during a call today and bloody hell, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My brain is certainly overstimulated at the moment, having properly returned to my desk after half-term followed by a week away. A rock solid deadline meant I massively pushed to tick lots of things off my to-do list before I left. This morning, I couldn’t remember what I’d done, or where I’d stored anything. To the point where a friend I’d been working with had to remind me which software program I had used as my second brain, ah the irony.

I ferreted around in Notion, found all the things I have to do and that caused enough panic to have me considering hiding under the desk for a while. Except there's a likelihood I'd probably fall asleep. Yesterday I had to let myself have a 3pm siesta (anyone who remembers parenting a toddler just did a sharp intake of breath at the thought of the dreaded disco nap). Would that be a bad thing?

My to-do list is longer than Santa’s naughty list. I’m yawning just thinking of it.

I have so much to write - though I baulk at it, and resist it putting my arse in the chair, apparently I do have a Lot To Say. Words tumble out when I let myself talk out what I’m thinking in order to make sense of it and then suddenly connections start to form and I’m off to the races. Verbal processing, and AI transcribing for the win, let me tell you. I see so much flack against AI at the moment and I agree with some of it but also, it’s a godsend when my mind is swirling and I need to capture a million thoughts before they float off like dandelion seeds on the breeze.

The house is a midden. Maybe I need a robot hoover. My brain comes up with all kinds of systems that I'm dying to implement to Make Things Better, but the problem is that that's coming at this from a really high (and perfectionist, unattainable) level. A “Let's make everything perfect and shiny, and beige and balanced” type perspective which isn’t really me at all. All I'm probably capable of doing today is getting the dishwasher unloaded and making sure that there are clean plates for dinner. And some days that's enough. When I have more spoons I can figure out how to incentivise the children to empty the dishwasher and that’ll be a major win in itself.

A friend and I have started a gentle read along of

Josie George

’s Letters from Wonderland, a letter a day. The whole idea lends itself to companionable enjoyment, and taking things slowly. I’ve found the perfect box to stash my letters, and I’m excited.

I’ll put some gentle order on this place today, tidy off my desk so that when inspiration strikes again, I’ve got a space ready. And I’ll come to the space anyway, and wait for inspiration to show up, because she’s even more fickle than me. I don’t need to tackle everything at once, and even considering it is a fool’s errand.

What I'd really like to do today is curl up on the sofa with my knitting or my huge pile of darning and feel soft fabric under my fingers. Sink into softness and inhale some good content. Binge a really good TV show. Perhaps I will spend some time sprinkling compost into the waffle-hole tray that will be home for all the seeds that we optimistically bought last weekend. My youngest declared that he's going to grow lettuce. I asked him if he liked lettuce he said he never tried it. He just saw a packet that looked appealing and decided to go for it.

Maybe today I just need to pick one thing that looks really appealing and go for it.

Sometimes the work for the day is rest.

Does rest, and remembering it, come easy to you? Are you up for learning that skill? I’m running the Gentle AF Writing Challenge later this month. Join us, for a small invitation into getting back in touch with your creativity.